The importance of congruence

The two second summary of this post is "Say what you mean and mean
what you say". I'll elaborate below but first I want to quote this
little passage:

"The specific neural radar involved was revealed in a study where
volunteers' brain images were taken as they watched any of several
actors tell a tragic story. A striking difference emerged in the
particular neural regions activated, depending on the facial
expression of the actor doing the telling. If the face of the actor
showed an appropriate sadness, the listener's amygdala and related
circuits for sadness activated.

But if the actor's face was smiling during the sad tale - an emotional
mismatch - the listener's brain activated a site specialising in
vigilance for social threats or conflicting information. In that case
the listeners actively dislike the person telling the story"

I've been trying indirect day game and have been struggling with the
congruence factor...I don't give a flying fuck what the girl thinks
about (insert opinion opener here)...even my wing is commenting that
I'm sounding a little flat and monotonic and I'm pretty sure I'm
triggering a lot of bullshit meters...what I'm really interested in
doing is finding out more about the girl as a person and my plan is to
try and change my approach to reflect that

Nothing groundbreaking here people have been saying for a long time if
you use opinion openers actually care about the opinion...and on a
related note when you're telling stories make sure that your facial
expressions and tonality are appropriate to the story being told. If
anyone has waaay too much time on their hands the actual paper (which
I haven't read) is

"Neural Correlates of Feeling Sympathy", Neuropsychologia 41 (2003) pp. 127-138

Tonality affects mood

A study was performed whereby students were split into two groups. Each group listened to the same philosophical essay being read out aloud. One group listened to the essay being read in a happy tone. One group listened to the essay being read in a sad tone. The group listening to the happy tone emerged slightly happier. The group listening to the sad tone emerged slightly sadder. They then listened to the same essay whilst performing a task to distract them. They could no longer understand the meaning of the essay, but their moods were still affected in the same way.